And this is coming from a girl who grew up in Malaysia... maybe I've become lame in my older years, but my gosh, it is ridiculous out there. We Houstonians literally have to plan our days around the sun. Nobody goes outside to do anything between like 8:30 AM and 6:30 PM (um try 6am - 9pm), and for go-getters like me, this is tough. How's a girl supposed to be efficient when you can't step past your front door? Here are a few indications that stepping outside might be unwise.
1. Energy Efficiency: We Texans support this movement. Your morning routine involves breakfast and brushing your teeth. Mine involves closing curtains (and sitting the dachshunds in an ice bath). Don't judge.
2. Good bye Martha Stewart: I haven't baked anything since oh... mid April ( :-( ). Baking requires an oven, and the only way my oven is going on is if we're going to someone else's house for dinner.
3. Turf wars: Ironically, if you drove past our house right now you'd notice that we have some of the best lookin' grass in our ghetto neighborhood. Green is in, brown is out... and we Texans take an abnormal amount of pride in our lawns. (You should see the edges...the grass is like a 4" thick carpet)
(Seriously, there were squirrels frolicking and hitting each other with pool noodles back there)
Side Note 2 = Blame Chile.
4. Dog naps: Our dogs get lethargic this time of year, and not just from being overweight... cough, Won Ton. (Wife, you're going to give him a complex!) Around 1:30 PM they both wearily climb up the stairs (yes, dog stairs) to our couch, get as far away from pillows or blankets, sigh abnormally loudly, and turn belly side up.
"What, are we not keeping it cool enough for you?..?" Punks.
5. Low redefined: When Local 2 News comes on and the cheery weather guy gets excited that we're getting a low of 100 today, we Houstonians resist the urge to post mean things on his FB page.
Side Note 1 = Andrew is Facebook friends, yes Facebook friends, with all the weather people except the chick I think.
6. Hurricane season! Do you have your hurricane tracker chart?? Andrew does. I'm going to let him do the honors on this once since he's an even bigger nerd than me. (I am fascinated by hurricanes. I thought they were interesting before, but living in KY puts you pretty far from the danger. They report on them here like crazy because, of course, each and every one has the possibility of directly hitting us. Ask me about the Cone of Uncertainty!)
7. Marching band polyesterness: I went to Taylor HS in Katy for one year and we learned how to march for Football games and band competitions in this kind of weather. (I can't even fathom that. It's funny to watch the local high school's drumline during August camp...no matter how big the line is, they're all crammed into a foot and a half of shade from the local teeny tiny tree.) Whoever designed those polyester marching band tunics was obviously from Minnesota.
Living here this time of year is nauseating, but it really is worth it when November rolls around. Texans venture out of their houses!
Yes. : )
(I personally kind of hate it all year round. November is a time for crackly leaves, chilly temperatures, comfortable jackets, and freeze-your-face-off-last-ditch-efforts-for-the-playoffs-that-marching-bands-STILL-have-to-go-to. I really love my cold weather, if you can't tell. It gets cold enough to put on a fake fire log (why do Houston houses have fireplaces??) for about 25 minutes in December and then another hour in February. Even though I miss the little bit of snow we get in GA and KY, we do get school cancelled here for lots of rain. That's pretty nice. OH WAIT, WE'RE IN THE WORST DROUGHT THE STATE HAS SEEN IN 50 YEARS AND HAVEN'T SEEN A DROP SINCE JANUARY 23RD! (Seriously! The weather people said so!)
|Yer basic Texas snowman. Y'all.|
|This is what happens when you type in Houston Snow Plow...|