What to do with children....

     So, Andrew and I don't have kids.... yet.  Ha!  Did you just get excited? Is she announcing something?? NO!  Bwa ha... you'll survive.  So will we.  (Andrew's Note: Wife!  Don't toy with their emotions!!)  Regardless, we do have friends with kids.  Lots of kids.  In fact, other than my sister & brother & a few gals at school, everyone has kids!  Sheesh!  No pressure there.  I feel like that by the time we do produce an heir (to rule the serfs in our fiefdom), we'll be expert parents based on the amount we've learned from our friends.  I'd like to think that having kids is as easy as taking care of Chile and Won Ton, but somehow I don't think a half a cup of food at 6:30 AM & PM will give us the parents of the year award.  (I think I've seen worse things than that on Toddlers and Tiaras...) 

     Tonight, our small group peeps are coming over for a cookout and I'm looking around my house with a new wariness.  We invited the parents and their kids... Gasp! Most of these kiddos are coffee table height.... like how I describe them?  Can you tell which decorations I'm worried about?  I made a flower arrangement this week that is no kidding, about the height of the average 3 year old.  I put it on our bar height kitchen table and it looks pretty cool, but if it fell over, it probably could seriously maim something.  Heck, it kind of scares me.

It's pretty but angry looking, right? I might stick it on Chile.

We might not have to buy a Christmas tree this year, just hang the ornaments off this monstrosity.

     And then there's the obvious questions... what do you do with kids once you've fed them?  The only toys we own are dog toys, and we stopped buying them toys once we realized that two smelly socks tied together was way more interesting than something from Petsmart.  Ghetto? Yes!  Cheap?  Yes!  Dogs that are too stupid to know the difference?  Heck yes!  I guess the kids could play with the dogs, but then there's the whole issue with Chile... (he's not really a people person)  ((Actually, he's not really an anything living/breathing/or moving person.))  I always feel like parents should sign a waiver before they let their kids near him.

We, ____________ and ______________ do hereby release Andrew & Allison & Won Ton Redmon of any responsiblity in the event that said dog, Chile Redmon, attacks/bites/bites off/insults/brings irreparable mental, physical, or emotional harm to our child(ren), ________________.  Signtaure, ____________________.

yea... just because he's cute doesn't mean you get to feel sorry for him.  Thanks to http://nataliehebert.net for taking this pic!

     This week, we actually put up a mesh net around our backyard tree to not only protect the tree from Chile, who CLIMBS it, but to also protect the squirrel population of Katy, which loses one of their own on a weekly basis.  This dog is not normal.

This is not Photoshopped.

     So dogs as entertainment are not a healthy option.  My next though was the sprinkler!  Kids like water right?  Its like 100 degrees right?  I can turn on the sprinkler!  Yes!  And Andrew can pick up all the crap (literally) in the back yard... thanks again to Chile.  But somehow I think they'll get tired of this after a bit, so I needed something else.


Cake Pops!

Ahhhh!!! They're so cute and I made them!!!!!!

     So, you know how cupcakes are all the rage these days?  I think Cake Pops are the next big thing.  If I had my own store, I could charge like $5 for a little ball of dough with sprinkles.  So I set out to make my first batch of cake pops, which for the record, are super easy.  I even went to the craft store (I'm going to pause for a moment and let that last sentence digest for a while........................................) and bought lollypop sticks and a foam box thingy to skewer the cake pops on to.  [preposition ending just for you English majors (and Josh, too, as well as.)]

     Cake pops serve two purposes!  Entertainment for said children AND a sugar rush for the parents to have to deal with at home!  I feel like I should get an award or something.  And they are so easy.  Here is where I got the recipe:  http://www.lovefromtheoven.com/2011/02/09/cake-pops/.

    Here are a few pictures to document my domestic-wifeyness.  See husband?  I'm not a work-a-holic!

Learned the hard way that colored sugar sprinkles don't work as well.  Definitely though about making one of those colored towers like we did with colored sand when we were kids.  Had to remind myself that I'm now 28. 

Don't make fun of the apron, I'll sick the flower arrangement on you.

Bwaaa!  They're still so cute!!!!

Foam box underneath, wrapped with wrapping paper.  Way too many polka dots in this picture.

Wow.  Andrew decided to get creative with the shaving of the beard.  It was unfortunate. (Yar.)

(One could call me "The Closer" because Allison never finishes her blog posts.  She gives me the computer and says "Ok, I'm done.  Make it funny.  And add something at the end, I couldn't think of anything else!" Well, I'm ending by talking about my beard.  (Which has nothing to do with this post!!!)  The pirate thing in the picture above lasted about an hour before I had to go to the grocery store for this cookout (See?? I'm relating it!) and was TOLD to shave.  I'm pretty proud of myself for having a beard for 6 whole months!  I feel somewhat less masculine now, but Allison likes it better.  I leave you with this gem I like to call "What I'll do in 40 years when I'm a sheepherder in a small Scottish village".